Bethany For President

EVERYBODY likes me.

They think my jokes are hilarious. They comment on how fabulous I look in my "skinny" jeans. Men want to impress me by lifting heavy objects and opening doors for me. Women beg to make me dinner and take on my laundry.

EVERYBODY wants to be my friend.

Strangers in the grocery store engage me lengthy conversations. I get smiles and winks at the mall like you wouldn’t believe.

I should run for president. I would sooooo win.

I might very well be the MOST POPULAR WOMAN ON THE PLANET.

…Okay, so maybe EVERYONE is just using me for my baby.

And I can be okay with that. I’ll take my attention anyway I can get it. If that means ruthlessly flaunting my girly asset (namely Kiana), so be it. People love to look at her, hold her, touch her, talk about her…I tell you what, this baby is a golden ticket.

And I am going to milk this situation for all it’s worth because, let’s face it, the situation is literally milking me.

I’ll let people open doors and give me smiles. I’ll turn a bashful shade of pink as they tell me how unpregnant I look (while feeling secretly smug inside). I’ll dress my baby in the cutest outfits possible and act as though I just threw “some old thing” on her at the last moment.

Yes, everybody likes me… unless Kiana and I happen to be sitting next to them on an airplane. Then they don’t like me much at all.