Wednesday, February 27, 2008

Co-Pays and Then Some

Raise your hand if you’re sick of thinking you might die.

Oh! Oh! Pick me! Pick me!

I wrote last month about my awful cardio-myopathy scare. Did I tell you about my breast cancer scare from last week? It must have slipped my mind.

NOT.

So it turned out to be nothing—just another $30 co-pay, another odd-smelling doctor’s office, and another doctor feeling me up. But the results came back and I am as cancer-free as they come. Wahoo.

So here are the kind of things that pass through Bethany’s mind as she thinks she might die (in no particular order):

I don’t want to die.
Geez, my testimony needs some fine-tuning.
Does dying involve presents?
Can they give me some sort of drug so it won’t hurt.
My babies. Oh, my babies.
My husband. He shouldn’t have to do it without me.
I hope Ryan can find happiness…
But not with another wife…
But with another wife if that’s what it takes.

Depressing, huh? Tell me about it. I aged two years over the last two months.

But thinking I might die has also been a blessing.

I now know what I need to work on so when that fateful day finally does arrive I wont be scrambling to become the best me. I now know that I have been blessed in life--far more than I ever thought possible and certainly more than I deserve. I now know what my priorities are (and they only kind of involve receiving presents). And I know that I am loved… dearly.

12 comments:

Audrey said...

Wow, I can't imagine how stressful that must've been. So grateful to hear that you are cancer free. Why did they suspect in the first place?
I hope you keep your enthusiasm to be better and work on those things you deem most important. I get really motivated, but sometimes lose steam--don't follow my bad example. Besides, you still haven't published a book yet--you'd be such a funny author!

Evan & Rebecca Jones said...

Hey!! I'm seriously loving the blogging world where I can catch up with people! You are so fun to read and I loved seeing pictures of your cute family!!

Chris and Tara Mason said...

You are nice to even consider allowing Ryan to remarry! You are much better than me! Chris is supposed to move near his parents so that his mom can take care of my babies while he works!
Glad to hear that you don't have cancer!

Heather & Trevor said...

I love presents too! I am certainly glad that you aren't dying!! Kinda makes you stop and think! :) I love your posts!

Kristy said...

Oh, Bethany! I'm so glad you're not dying!

Melanie said...

"Does dying involve presents?" I love that! Maybe we each get some fabulously white gown when we get to the other side. Ooo, or even better, a shopping spree to pick out our new all white wardrobe!

Seriously though, I'm glad that everything is okay.

Ryan said...

So imagine this. A room full of stressed out directors slaving over laptops to fine tune their operating budgets. I decide to take a quick brake from the numbers and check in on my favorite blogg. After reading halfway through I had to stop to wipe my eyes, really not just damp but wipe my eyes. People look at me and lucky for me I can blame it on too many hours staring at the screen.

You are an inspiring woman, my best friend and the ONLY one for me. As mana puts it I am a lobo enamorado.

I love you!!!!!

Marisar said...

Attention please!
->> Remove Viruses! <<-

Steph Bowen said...

My sister-in-law had breast cancer twice. She's better now, but it's been a process. I only bring that up because she's been the receipient of so many blessings (like finding TWO houses that were extremely underpriced that allowed them to buy their first home and then upgrade a few years later) that I'm thinking maybe I need to get some almost could die sickness so maybe we could afford a house, too. I'm lying. I don't want cancer. I don't wish it on anyone. But I would like a house. I'm glad you're okay.

Rachel Evans said...

What??? You thought that you had breast cancer? Oh my gosh! Where have I been? I am glad that you are okay! You guys have been through so much! No Bethany would mean no fun! :) I love you and am glad that you are okay! And I love presents too!

Zulkijora said...

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brenley said...

wow! that helped me to rethink my life a bit too - you inspiring bethany you! thanks dearest:D i'm glad you're alright!