Wednesday, December 26, 2007

My Misspent Youth

I was a good girl. An insanely good girl.

I never tasted beer. I never wore a bikini. I even liked my parents. Where did I go wrong?

My wild weekend nights were spent at the stake dances rocking out to “YMCA” and dancing with boys with sweaty hands, pepperoni faces, and whose breath smelled like peanut butter.

My friends and I stole a shopping cart once—the frosting on the cake of a most excellent toilet papering job (we returned the shopping carts a few days later).

I think I got a “C” on my report card junior year…maybe.

I kissed a lot of boys, many of which knew the true meaning of a “misspent youth.”

And then there were the “freeze-outs.” I would write in more detail about the freeze-outs, but I don’t want to give my lurking father a headache.

But that was about the extent of my bad behavior as a teenager. I was a good girl. An INSANELY good girl.

But maybe I should have taken advantage of my youth and screwed up a little… seized the day a little. I should have gotten that nose ring I always wanted. I only had that bikini-worthy body once. And maybe I should have stayed out till 12:30, a whole half an hour passed my curfew, just to show my parents who was boss.

I have no excuse for bad behavior anymore. I am endowed. The judgement lobe in my brain is completely developed. I am a mother. I am a republican.

And quite frankly, I had an amazing time as a teenager... even as a straight arrow. I don’t regret most things about my youth, especially not those stake dances. Where do you think all of the boys I kissed came from?

5 comments:

Melanie said...

Love that last paragraph!

I was such a goody-goody in elementary school that every morning my parents would tell my to be obnoxious and disruptive. Seriously!

I often wish I would have done some crazy things and been sent to the principal's office. Honestly, what do a few disciplinary infractions matter when you're in elementary school?

Steph Bowen said...

Where were the boys with the peanut butter breath? I never met them. I love peanut butter :)

Jessie said...

You could still have a "freeze-out", but Doug might think his mama is a little crazy.

Dana said...

I know this comment has nothing to do with your post....But, CONGRATULATIONS! My mom called to tell me that your beautiful baby girl was born this morning. Is t Kianna or Evangeline? Anyway, I am so excited for you! I hope everything went well! Our babies are exactly a month apart!!! I love you, cute little mommy!

Shauni said...

Bethany you are such a great writer. I have been totally distracted from what I'm supposed to be doing right now because I'm so glued to your blog. What a fun talent to have! (Just promise me you won't mention any names or specifics about those freeze-outs...:)