Monday, January 28, 2008

Ooey Gooey Baby Love

Basically, if you’ve met my daughter, you know what I’m talking about.

She is yummy. But not in a hamburger and french fry way. She's yummy in a dainty, princessy, vanilla ice cream with strawberry sauce on top, she’s mine—not yours, neener neener way.

Not to juxtapose a frustrated rant about my son to a love eruption about my daughter. I love my children equally. I just happen to have extremely positive feelings about Kiana right now. She’s so pleasant, she smells good, and she doesn’t get into my makeup drawer every day and paint the floors with my treasured MAC eye shadow.

Kiana’s tiny head fits so nicely on the space between my collarbone and neck. I rock her gently and stare into her droopy eyes as she prepares to fall asleep. Her lips curl upward in a semi-smile as I stroke her velvet scalp. Her body feels so warm and so small molded against my chest. A little jelly bean.

I kiss her miniature nose. It is firm, not squishy like mine (thank heavens she didn’t get my nose). Her eyelashes are growing longer. They are the color of honey. Her mouth is so delicate. When she yawns, I see that the top of her tongue is snowy white from her last meal. Each time she sneezes, she coos “ohhhhh” in gratitude.

As I gaze down at my little girl, I savor the moment. I do not think about the price I paid to bring her to the earth. Nor do I wonder what she will be like when she gets older. I just appreciate who she is right now. She will not look this way tomorrow. She won’t emit the faint clean scent of the preexistence for much longer. Her hair will grow, teeth will come, and one fateful day she will turn “two.”

By then, the space between my collarbone and neck will have become far too cramped.

My heart aches to think that she will only be this Kiana for this moment. So I hold her close, watch her sleep, and thank Heavenly Father for this incredible gift.


Melanie said...

What a beautiful post. Make sure you print this one out so that Kiana can read it when she gets older (and so you can read it again when she enters her terrible twos!).

Audrey said...

I remember feeling exactly this way with both babies. They are so incredibly precious. I remember being completely amazed that something so perfect could have come from my own body.
I also remember feeling a bit freaked out that I wasn't perhaps enjoying every hour, minute & second enough because they do grow so quickly.
I love your descriptive terms. You have such a talent with the written word.

Steph Bowen said...

Oooh. I can't wait. What items did you use with both your babies that you couldn't be without? Which ones were a waste? What things do I need and how many of them? Help me!

Brandon and Diana Bronson Family Blog said...

What a sweet mom you are. I love the newborn stage.

Logan and Emily Bohman said...

She's so precious! What a sweet picture. I hate how much they change day to day! You write beautifully.

Rachel Evans said...

Oh Bethany I totally understand how you feel. There is something about little ones that makes you just want to stop time so that you can stay in that moment with them for just a little bit longer. Zander, Boston, and I have spent most of our mornings in my bed cuddling under piles of blankets and watching movies together. You are a good mom! Kiana and Doug are lucky to have you!

Heather & Trevor said...

Aren't Little Girls the best! I love that post! She is so cute in that hat! :)

Jer and Jealin said...

Wow. That brought me to tears. Especially the 'scent of the preexistence' part. What a way with words.

adrienne said...

Once again: Oh, sweet justice!

I remember the first few months with my new angel daughter 26 years ago: how precious, how lovely, how truly yummy!

You are still all those things to me.