Words

A stake high counselor spoke to our ward on Sunday about how the way we speak reflects who we are inside. Perhaps I liked his talk so much because I love words… especially writing them. I can say the exact thing I want to say in the exact way I want to say it. If I write something illogical or grammatically odious I can backspace until all evidence is destroyed.

How I wish real life was like that. When I say something mean or muddle up my words, wouldn’t it be nice to right-click delete? I am a far less graceful in person than I am on paper. Sometimes I feel clumsy when trying to hold an actual conversation. And on the cell phone… a downright failure.

But really, how does the way I speak—or more importantly the words I choose to use— reflect who I am inside? I remember in high school a few of my girlfriends and I experimented with a few naughty words to prove that we weren’t as Mary Tyler Moore as we looked. I’m sure any person lucky enough to catch us mid-blaspheme would be more inclined to howl with laughter than be offended. We could never make the words sound convincing enough and eventually tossed the cause. We were trying to be something we were not.

This does not mean I shun all bad words. I find a good “damn” or “hell” appropriate and even necessary if used well and sparingly. I have a friend who is the picture of Clorox clean. She was an EFY counselor and a missionary, but also one of the more hilarious people I have met. She was relaying a story about how she was on a date and accidentally peed her pants in the middle of a goodnight kiss (I could relate more than I care to admit…. but I’ll save that for another blog). Anyhow, I was doubled over laughing as she was reenacting the episode and narrating what was going through her mind mid-stream. When the “d-word” slipped out of her mouth I hit the floor. It was the crowning glory of the chronicle. It was unexpected. It was brilliant.

So I admit, I mix a little dog poop in with my brownie batter. Don’t tell anyone (or sample any of my baked goods). But for the most part I try to radiate who I am with the topics I choose to speak about or the words that leave my mouth. There is a great deal of room to improve, though.

The Sunday speaker also talked about how it is easy to identify if a marriage likely to fail by the tone of voice one spouse uses to another. If one partner consistently sounds reproaching or superior when speaking to the other, chances are that the marriage will end in divorce. This had been statistically proven. Scary, huh? Sometimes it is not what one says but how one chooses to say it that makes all the difference. I am so grateful to a husband who speaks to me lovingly and kindly (and often relentlessly teasingly) and I hope that I do the same. It’s something for me to watch for when the inevitable differences arise.

Speaking of words… I think I’ve used my quota for this entry.