Thursday, August 2, 2007

Grandma Driver

There is always that one car. It is the car that is going slow. It is the car that is making you late for work. It is the car that may cause your bladder to explode. This car is going the speed limit in the fast lane and you can’t get past. This car is driving you crazy.

Further, this car might force you to do things you would not normally do… like initiate the no-no finger or roll down the window and holler “get a move-on grandma!” This car is making you a bad person.

This car is my car. I realize that if I had any cool points left with you, they are now gone.

Ever since I first became a human incubator, suddenly all of my dad’s lectures on defensive driving have kicked in. I am in mommy-mode and if that means a speedometer that peaks at 65 miles an hour, so be it.

Texas drivers punish safe drivers like me. Signaling is a sign of weakness here. If you hint at your intent to change lanes then the car to your right will speed up so you can’t get in. As you take the on-ramp to get on the freeway, just know that the speeding cars will sacrifice their bodies and vehicles so you won't succeed. Texans are hateful vengeful drivers, but very formidable by foot. They also make a mighty good barbeque.

6 comments:

Kristy said...

Oh! That sounds even worse than Utah. Congrats on being a grandma driver WAY before you're a grandma.

Bart Bradshaw said...

That's crazy, Bethany. You must mean "Dallas drivers," because in Austin, people are all proponents of the you-first method. People always let others merge, even when it seems almost ridiculous. People sit at 4-way stops smiling and waving others to go first. If you signal that you're turning or switching lanes, everyone stops their cars until you've gone where you need to go, then they turn their cars back on, fasten their seat belts, and resume their drive - no faster than the speed limit, mind you.

I have to admit, I'd rather Austin drivers were more like Dallas drivers. Austin would be a much faster, safer place. Because it's slow, you-first, drivers that cause most of the problems, in my opinion. Why? This is just my opinion, of course, but it seems that the slower one drives, the less attention one pays to the road. In Seoul, Korea, everyone was crazy fast but extremely attentive to driving. It was beautifully effective, and the safest I've ever felt on the road.

PaulandNicolesJourney said...

Bethany, it's Nicole from Utah State. I saw your blog from Stephanie's blogspot. Email me at pringles299@hotmail.com so I can send you an invitation to our blog. Can't wait to hear from you and to keep in touch!!!

terobinsonjr@msn.com said...

Thank you for driving defensively and safely. You have precious cargo and I love you all so dearly. That being said, please, please get out of the fast lane... or I will have to ground you.

Love

Dad

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Abbie said...

Right from the streets in Washington DC.....
I don't live in DC anymore and we love Grandama Drivers where I live.