Friday, June 17, 2011

Here We Go

Despite the rules, I called a lot of people last week.

Me: “Guess what? I am pregnant!”
Them: “What! That’s great. How far along are you?”
Me: “Oh… about three and a half minutes.”
Them: “That far, eh?

It’s not that I have delayed gratification problems (although I do), it’s that I wanted to get the word out while I was still excited. I knew that those happy feelings would soon be replaced by what I am feeling right now and will continue to feel throughout my entire pregnancy:


I woke up in the middle of the night wrapped in the heavy blanket of morning sickness. I will be gripped in it, squeezed by it, for the next nine months. And, even though I am surrounded by people who love me and will help me, I feel so alone. I feel angry at my body for behaving this way. I feel guilty and selfish knowing that while I have to carry this sickness, my husband will have to carry everything else.

I take heart in knowing that this too shall pass, and in the end it will be worth it, but nothing can change the fact that this journey will be grueling.

I am so scared.


Janssen said...

Congratulations! I am so so sorry that pregnancy is so rough for you. My fingers are crossed that things will be at least a TINY bit easier this time.

karamcleskey said...

Good Luck Bethany!! I hope the best for you! I know you had a scary time with Kiana. Just remember that you are not alone. There are so many people that care for you. Please call me to watch your kids when you are nauseous! Seriously.

Shannon said...

Way to be brave Biff. I am so excited for you. I really think the world needed another Lee in it.

Evan and Rebecca Jones said...

Congrats, congrats! Here's hoping that this pregnancy will be better and definitely not the WHOLE 9 months. Also, thanks for the reminder that it's totally worth it because at almost 8 months pregnant sometimes I need reminding that there IS a baby at the end of this.

Anonymous said...

Congrats !!! I'm due in 3 months and I'm scared to have 3 kids, espec with them being under the age of 3. :). But I'm soo exticed for you !!!!!

Enrique and Lindsay said...

Yay!! Congrats :) That's great news. They say that all pregnancies are different so hopefully this one will be better for you!

Katie said...

Biff, I am going to find you a cure. It is my destiny. This pregnancy is going to be different, dang it. Love you!!!

The Powells said...

Bethany, that's super exciting for you guys! Congrats. I hope things go smooth this time around - we'll be praying for you. I know how you feel (guilt-wise) though, Steve has carried MOST of the load this time for me too. Just remember that Ryan LOVES you and is willing to do this for all of you. It should take some guilt off and make you love him more :) Good luck!

Breanna said...

I'm so excited for you Bethany. I love having 3 boys. And I have to tell you the transition from 2 to 3 was SO MUCH EASIER than from 1 to 2. You're a great mom and this baby will be so lucky to have you. I'll keep you in our prayers!