Tuesday, February 23, 2010

All the Ways that I am Famous

If you ever need to get in to an exclusive swanky night club, and can’t, I’d be the one to call.

I know people.

I am connected to so many important celebrities that I am practically famous myself.

“Who, Bethany? Who are you connected to?” you may ask. Well, I’m not one to name-drop or anything… but since you asked…

1.) I waited on Marie Osmond’s table while working at the Spaghetti factory.

2.) Chelsea Hightower is my best friend.

3.) Back in the day, I kissed a boy named Andrew on the “A” at Utah State. I was SHOCKED to see him in a major motion picture several months later (I have photographs to prove that the kiss happened, too. Won't be showing those pictures to my husband. Nope. No way.).

4.) My husband is a blood relative of Butch Cassidy.

5.) I made Tony Gwynn a sandwich while working at Gandolfo’s (and, no, he was not the “stranger from the past.” More on that later…)

6.) John Stockton helped my great grandmother down the stairs at the dentist’s office.

And… the newest celebrity that makes me practically famous:

Lily Scott

You may recognize her from this season of American Idol. She has silver hair, of which I totally disapprove, and a cool indie voice, of which I COMPLETELY approve.

I was her babysitter way back when and, boy oh boy, do I have stories. But just as I find it inappropriate to name-drop, I also think it’s rude to tell stories about other people without their permission. So I won’t tell you about the time six-year-old Lily told my sister about the birds and the bees using graphic anatomical names such as “the boy thingy” and “the girl thingy” or the time she snuck into the pantry and ate a whole box of Chewy Granola Bars. Or there was that time that her brother got his lip stuck inside a K-Swiss pocketknife and after a jar of Vaseline, a tub of Country Crock, and a quart of mayonnaise, his lower lip--free at last--had swelled to the size of a radish.

Nope, I won’t tell you those stories, but I will say that after the pocket-knife fiasco, I refused to babysit for the Scotts again. Or maybe I hadn’t been invited back… hmm… can’t remember.

Anyhow, Lily has grown into an incredibly talented woman and, while I am slightly miffed that now I HAVE to watch American Idol this season, I will definitely vote for her. You should too!

(Do you know anyone famous?)


Alesa said...

My cousin (3rd cousin) is the top us skeleton rider In the Olympics. Go Zach!! I've seen Dylan McDermott and Dakota Fanning in Hawaii. and I know personally future author Bethany.

birdbabies said...

andrew? is this from freshman year or later?