Thoughts

I was recently reading the Feminist Mormon Housewives website (thank you Kristy) and read an interesting blog about our Mother in Heaven. The woman who wrote it posted anonymously because she felt certain the subject was taboo and would certainly lead to social condemnation. Of course this blog got me thinking about my Heavenly Mother and why is it that I know so little about her. I have heard that one reason She is not frequently talked about is because of Her sacred nature. While I agree that She is infinitely sacred, I do not believe She is MORE sacred than the Father. Rather, I feel that the reason we don’t learn about Her is really that so little is actually known about Her.

Whatever reason we don’t learn about our Mother in Heaven in Gospel Doctrine, I feel inspired that it is possible and beneficial for us to have a relationship with Her. In fact, I have never had a stronger desire than now as am doing something that only another woman can do, carry a child. I know that my Father in Heaven understands perfectly what I am going through. He loves me and is aware of my suffering, joy and excitement. However, just as a daughter goes to her earthly mother for womanly advice (not because she loves her father any less or feels he cannot understand) it would be delicious to feel encircled by a divine feminine love as I push through this difficult and emotional journey.

I heard an idea that made such beautiful sense to me. We feel our Heavenly Mother’s love as we appreciate and sing spiritual music. I feel the spirit very deeply, but very differently when I allow myself to be uplifted by music. It feels like being wrapped in a warm blanket and kissed on the inside by someone so soft and understanding. I often find myself in tears over the balance of taking care of my body and taking care of my child. More than once I have heard the whisperings of the spirit tell me to sing hymns to myself and to my sweet baby. I have felt comforted when I have followed through with these promptings. Could I be feeling the love of my Heavenly Mother?

Just as we get to know Son as we get to know the Father, I feel that our Heavenly Father and Mother are also linked in purpose and spirit. As I pray to my Father, I feel like my Heavenly Mother is listening and guiding too. As I further my relationship with Him, surely I must be drawing closer to Her as well. I believe She wants me to feel of her love. And as I am willing to work to have a relationship with Her she will encompass me with motherly love and acceptance.